davekonig:
Someone @enterprise_inspires thought it was a good idea to give this #Charger to me for the day... and they absolutely rock for it! #Returned #OnePiece #Want #ZeroToSeventy #NoBears #NewsFootageWasPhotoshopped #ISwear
davekonig:
Obviously writing "Does Not Contain Real Currency" wasn't printed large enough... #marketing
davekonig:
It's an #11Q thing... cruising the park... #SavingLives... #StampingOutDisease... picking up #Pokemon #usopen
davekonig:
"Look into my eyes #hooman... air conditioner leave on you will... #Brita water in the bowl you will place... #fur you will brush... #cake you will receive..." #TheCakeIsALie #catsofinstagram
davekonig:
It's been 7 years since my last gig on #TheIslandOfMisfitToys but not much has changed except the color of the shirt. Oh... and now there are chocolate donuts! #PagsApproved
davekonig:
#NYPD is apparently using #RinglingBros best practices for future radio mobile patrols... #ClownCar
davekonig:
"Oh hooman, did u want to get in here for u ice koob? Nope. Koob dunai," says Tweety #catsofinstagram #morningicedcoffee #SheHatesMe