a.sideways18:
“Well that proves it, I WAS looking for love in all the wrong places.”
a.sideways18:
“Being an Armchair Quarterback takes passion and commitment… and excellent control of your bladder since you don’t want to miss the commercials.”
a.sideways18:
“These Buddhists have no sense of humour. Okay, In hindsight, maybe opening the margarine tub and saying ‘I can’t believe it’s not Buddha’ was not appropriate.”
a.sideways18:
“Valentine’s Day for one. Don’t feel bad though, I’ll take advantage of myself later.”
a.sideways18:
The real reason you get aches and pains isn’t old age,… its trolls with voodoo dolls!
a.sideways18:
“I’m done. Recycle me.”
a.sideways18:
“Well….”
a.sideways18:
“The older I get the more i miss the people I’ve lost over the years…. Maybe being a trail guide wasn’t the best occupation for me.”
a.sideways18:
“Pro travel tip: shipping suitcases is way cheaper than booking a seat. I just hope I don’t get separated from my bag with all my clothes in it again.”
a.sideways18:
“Oh no, lightning! I’d lay on my back, but I’d still be the tallest thing around.”
a.sideways18:
The 1st day back from vacation, there is no such thing as ‘enough’ coffee.
a.sideways18:
“See, I told you, according to wiki-pedia, once a birthday BJ is promised, there is no expiration date.”
a.sideways18:
Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.
a.sideways18:
“Sing along if you know the words… 🎶 Oh sea seal ya, you’re breaking my heart, you’re eating all my cod-fish daily…🎶.”
a.sideways18:
“Well,… fries don’t get jealous if you have more than one.”
a.sideways18:
“Manners maketh the man, but shoes maketh the outfit.”
a.sideways18:
“Look what I can do!” - 2 seconds before the …oh crap… splash.
a.sideways18:
“Oh, I’m sorry, I should have been more clear. When I said ‘Bangs?’ I was asking if you wanted them cut, not propositioning you with sex.”
a.sideways18:
That awkward moment when you realize there is a motel right next door to the coffee shop you picked for your first date,… and it has hourly rates.
a.sideways18:
“I really don’t know why I was asked to leave the family beach area, I’ve seen plenty of women there wearing this exact swimsuit.”
a.sideways18:
Mondays.
a.sideways18:
“So according to Debbie at the sperm bank, my deposit has to be made in a clinical environment, not kept in a mason jar until it’s full.”
a.sideways18:
“What kind of Canadian would I be if I didn’t stop to take a photo with a moose in the rain?”
a.sideways18:
“Now I understand why they say you should hold onto the ropes when swinging.”
a.sideways18:
“So,… how do you decide who you ask if they want to play a game, and do you take requests? Asking for a friend.”
a.sideways18:
“I knew this tunnel looked painted on, you are not fooling me this time Mr Wile E Coyote.”
a.sideways18:
“In hindsight, maybe i should have asked the landlord first before i painted the building?”
a.sideways18:
“Okay I can see it, not sure if i can reach it though. I told you it was a bad idea, but NOOooooo.”
a.sideways18:
“Dammit beach chickens! 5 second rule! 5 SECOND RULE!”
a.sideways18:
“When Aria said I could keep anything I find in the sand, I didn’t expect all I would find was used condoms.”
