danishpm:
"How come I can't get reception at my own home but some terrorist can upload his vids from a cave in Afghanistan? "
danishpm:
“A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail. A best friend is the one sitting next to you saying ‘boy was that fun.’”
danishpm:
“What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk?”
danishpm:
Knowing trees, I understand the meaning of patience. Knowing grass, I can appreciate persistence.
danishpm:
Symptom : Feet cold and wet. Fault : Glass being held at incorrect angle. Solution : Turn glass so that open end is pointing at ceiling.
danishpm:
The farmer is the only man in our economy who buys everything at retail, sells everything at wholesale, and pays the freight both ways.
danishpm:
They say that Heaven is like TV... a perfect little world, that doesn't really need you.
danishpm:
An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold onto a blade of grass and not fall off the earth.
