Hypatia_PA:
My roommate calls me saying that I have a package "folded up in the mailbox."
Hypatia_PA:
Archimedes will be assisting me this year. Captain Olimar is apparently busy with some new project on the Wii U. Anyways, I go to the first...Archimedes, no! It's filthy in there! Eugh.
Hypatia_PA:
There is a letter here, boldly stated the Canadian nature of this package, and signed with the grinning visage of my Twitter tormentor.
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First gift is...a book on to how to be Canadian? I am almost positive that reading this book is an act of high treason. Mental note: Canada is desperate for new citizens.
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Second gift is an undoubtedly shitty cop movie. Only Canadian, which makes it even worse. Fun fact: my paternal grandfather was French-Canadian, a stain on my heritage that haunts me to this day.
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Third gift is rare Canadian junk food! Poisonous to those who eat and breath freedom, I will most likely have to sell this to some communist. Even Archimedes couldn't be arsed to properly pose for the camera.
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Gift #4 is, unsurprisingly, maple syrup.
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The fifth gift is labeled as the first of two "non-Canadian" gifts, but anyone with vision can see the garish French emblazoned on the box.
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And the final gift is...
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So who is this "evil xmas elf" that would sully the name of American Elves everywhere?
Hypatia_PA:
@SwashbucklerXX, I should have known.
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The first thing I had to do was buy some Canadian bacon. As many of you know, this is just a fancy way of saying "ham."
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The meal, completed. Fun fact: I only used two eggs for this dish. So, if I stop posting for a few days, then you know I died from the mutant two-yolked egg.
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Hmm...the dish appears to be missing something. Ah yes, the important ingredient!
Hypatia_PA:
The meal, in its completed Northern Glory. Of course, I needed some very Canadian decor to go with this meal, and thus I chose to eat with someone very Honourable.