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Yay! Let's see what he's telling me:
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Merry Christmas to me! My Santa gave me just what I've always wanted: a baffling postcard!
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Loaded up Minecraft, time to see what the fuss is all about. Oh! A server invite. Wonder what this could be--
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So... diamonds are in the ground in Minecraft, right? So I dug. And dug. And dug.
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I continue to dig. Prospectors have told me that diamonds can be found within pre-existing cave formations, so I boldly set off for adventure!
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I can no longer see the sun. I have forgotten the taste of bread. All I can think about is the Santa. Oh yes, the Ssanta. Sssanta will treat me good if cloudeagle digs, yes? Cloudeagle digs for the Ssanta, oh yes. He digs.
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Actually, before the lava mishap I was taking the diamonds back up to a chest on the surface, so I only lost one or two.
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Okay, the Albatross CXVII is within spitting distance of the rebel fleet, and I'm going to kamikaze that sucker! Yaaaaaaah!
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...finally, a lucky shot brings down their shields and I give it a pounding. It warps away before I can destroy it, of course.
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Note, that was AFTER I patched the four breaches in my hull and repaired, well, every single system.
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Finally, I catch up with it again as it tries to teleport some crew into my ship... but I've killed so many of its crew the death squad amounts to one person, who showed up right next to the airlock. Sucker.
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Finally, victory! The rebels are defeated and the Federation is once again free to grind its people down under the boot of oppression.
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Finally, after all the mystery, code cracking and travel to the deepest recesses of the Earth and the farthest corners of space, the payoff! Let's see what Santa got me...
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Glucosamine tablets for my dog! How did you know? I'm sure he'll appreciate--what is it, Max? ...I ordered those myself? I have another package?
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Well hey, I do! Let's see what's inside... inside the box is another box, and inside the other box...
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Hey, it's beer! Sparkie loves beer. And a note...
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Ooooh, nice selection from a homebrewer! And it looks like the game is still afoot. Wow. Time to dust off my chess skills...
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Meanwhile, for me it's part four of Gift Get!
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Inside is a note...
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So what's in there...
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Dr. Orpheus! Damn dude, you did some research! This is guaranteed to make my man cave more dramatic.